22.10.06
E
COWS GO MOO !
10:41 PM
Lost in confusion
Today was an ordinary day made special by a few special people in my life. ldf ; Kelvin.
And i thought that today would just be a ldf outing, like shopping and pigging out. But you guys really gave me a suprise. I never knew that you guys cared so much about me and planned this so long age. And as i said, it was just yesterday when i was feeling all along and insignificant. (too many other thoughts&feelings so heck with it) So thankyou for spending thewhole afternoon with me and putting up with my constant cheating (: And really i hope you guys know how much this means to me. & i know that we will continue to stick together and grow closer. I love you people (: And you people mean so much to me i never want to let you go .
And i know that i havent been a really good friend and i dont deserve all this but you need to know how greatful i am
Kelvin : I'll know you'll never see this, but i'm sorry today was just a slipshot affair. And i'm sorry i dont have enough courage have a decent conversation or meal with you. And i know im not much of a friend, and i wish i could be a better friend, but it feels too goddamn awkward. Nevertheless, thankyou for all the presents (:
And its been too long since i've been kepping things all bottled up inside. And all these things just pile up inside, but no, i'm not gonna let them out. I rather let them tear me up inside and i'm sorry that these things make me such a bitter person at times. (sorry cinch&many more)
And i hope you know that the the reason i'm not talking you you is not because i dont care anymore, but there are just too many things that make me hesitate. And you cant expect me to make the first move when I dont even know whats happening or how you feel. And it feels like i'm paying a game without knowing the rules. I'm torn between the thoughts of holding on and the constant signs that tell me to let go. And most of all, i dont wanna hurt you anymore.
Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out
And I wished for things that I don't need
And what I chase won't set me free
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees
Oh, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?
And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt
It's hard to lead the life you choose
When all you luck's run out on you
And you can't see when all your dreams are coming true
Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?
And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And no where's home and I'm all wrong
And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn'twould be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me
A big thankyou to those who wished (:
though one day early .